Are you a quitter or a realist??

There are differences between giving up and being a realist. I have to say that I am a realist. Though I seemed like giving up most of the time, actually I was being a realist. I know that something is not going to happen, so I abandoned it.

To give you a better view of the difference between giving up and being a realist, I will give you an example. Let say, one day, a man challenge me to become the Queen of England. Should I do anything to take up the challenge?? Of course not. Because it is 99.99% impossible. Firstly because I am a man. How can I become a queen?? And secondly, because I am not from the British Royal bloodline. Thus, I am not not going to do anything to the challenge. And let me ask you. Am I considered as a quitter for not trying? Or am I being a realist for not wasting my time to do something which is near impossible? I'd say I am a realist. And in this case, I am being smart =)

However, I have to warn you that claiming to be realist is not that easy. Before you decide to not trying, you have to make a careful consideration on the situation. If there is a chance, keep trying. Don't give up and keep on praying. Hope always propels the mankind. But if you are sure that there is no chance at all, leave it. Don't waste your time. Move on and do not look backward.

Faking a smile.

This is one of a thing which I am good at. I faked a smile. Not once, not twice. But so much time before. When I say I faked it, it means that I was hiding my sadness and the bitterness in my life. I don't want people to notice it. I am a cheerful guy. And I am known for that. So I don't want people especially my friend to notice if something unpleasant had happen to me. So I faked my smile. Keep on smiling, keep on being cheerful. But it is not something which comes from my heart. Just for the sake of my image and keeping my cheerful relationship with my friends. I don't want people to change their tone when they talk with me just because they are afraid of offending me. I don't want that. I just want people to treat me as if nothing had happened to me. That's why I fake my smile. I fake my 'joyness' and 'cheerfulness' just to have that. And most of the time, it worked. Because nobody noticed it. Even my family. Wait! There is a person who can notice it. Only one person (as far as I can remember). And I respect her for that. An old friend. She is the only person who can detect the fakeness of my smile. And sadly, we lost contact. I hope I can find someone like her. Someone who can understand me and know me inside out. I mean, very, very well.

The plan of my life.

Maybe I should start to think about it right now. The route is not in my favor. I'm 25 right now. By the time I graduate, I will be 26. Quite old I suppose. As soon as I have a stable income, I need to seriously think about settling down. And settling down is not an easy one. It's about taking the responsibility of someone's daughter for the rest of my life. It's not all. It will include (insyaAllah) the persons which will be produce by the marriage afterwards. Besides that, I have to consider the costs of the reception ceremony. I'm the eldest son. I'm guessing that my parent would want a proper ceremony for me. As we know, marriage is an expensive business. At least you need to have RM 20k to have a proper ceremony. Not a grand ceremony but just a proper one. Which is a burden to me. So, I'm not seeing myself settling down very soon. I need to work for at least a year in order to save for the marriage things

But for me, the most important thing is to prepare myself for what come afterwards. I mean the knowledge about marriage. Preparing myself about my future responsibility as a husband. And the responsibilities waiting need me to be financially stable. I wish to be a good husband. Not only about feeding my family and giving them shelter, but most importantly, bringing them toward the faith of Islam. I wish to produce a generation of good Muslims. I know I'm not a scholar or anything like that, but at least, I can teach them the fundamental obligation of a Muslim towards Allah. Perhaps, I can implant the interest in my children's heart to learn knowledge about the faith of Islam. InsyaAllah...

Thus, due to this responsibility, I'm not seeing myself buying a new car after I get my first wage. Unlike most of my friend. I don't even think that I can afford to buy a Viva. Right now, my priority is to buy a house. A proper one. Not a lavish mansion but just a comfortable house for my family. Perhaps after a while, my life will become stable and only then, buying a new car will come to my mind. Wish me best guys!!

Salam Aidilfitri..

Salam Aidilfitri. Semoga amalan kita di bulan Ramadhan lalu diterima Allah. Moga bertemu lagi di Ramadhan akan datang :)

Says Alhamdulillah...

 

 Iklan ni membuatkan air mataku bergelinangan. I'm not really a tears kind of person but this commercial can do so to me. I'm easily touched by person with disability especially children because I just can't imagine myself being in their shoes. Alhamdulillah I've been living for more than a quarter of a century and blessed with good hearing, good sight, able to speak (cuma pelat 'R' je) and having all limbs intact. Whenever I see someone with disability, I always asked myself what have I done with all those ability which I am blessed with?? Does it have any values in front of Allah later?? Ya Allah, jadikanlah aku seorang hambaMu yang bersyukur. Jadikanlah setiap pancainderaku ini bermanfaat pada agamaMu.

25 huh??

Alhamdulillah. Aku diberi umur yg panjang utk melihat dunia ni. Today I'm 25. I'm not sure for how long the number will keep on going. Nevertheless, thank you Allah. There is nothing much I hope from my birthday. Umor yg panjang ni bole jadi satu rahmat kalau kita bijak menggunakannya. Tp ia juga bole jadi satu perkara yang akan dipersoalkan di hadapan Allah kelak jika kita tidak menggunakannya dgn baik. Aku harap biarlah umur ini menjadi rahmat untukku. Aku harap ianya tidak akan dipersoalkan ketika aku berjumpa dgn Pencipta satu hari nanti. Aamiin. Thanks for all the wishes and prayers. I really appreciate it guys. =)

Something is making me a bit anti-social.

Yupp.. You've read it right (the title). Recently, a lot of my friend settled down. I mean getting married. And most of them invited me to their walimatul urus. However, I turned down most of it. Some of it is because I've got another important thing to do. But most of it because I don't want to go. Luckily for the time being, the one who got married is not what I consider as a very close friend. We are friend but not a close one. When I think about it, I thing I might've got the answer why I don't want to go. It's because I don't want to draw so many question which my friend will ask about me. And most importantly, I don't want to let myself down by looking at my friend having earn their own money from their own job or buying their own car by their own earning. Let's face it, I'm the only one (that I know) who haven't left student years yet. I'm the only person who are still struggling with my bachelor degree. I've got nothing to shout about myself. Sorry friends. I will not coming to any of you're walimatul urus for at least the next one and a half year. Because I'm not prepared to face the shame yet.

An insight of a working environment.

Ok. First of all, I'm not actually working yet. But since last Monday, I'm doing my internship with WD throughout my semester break. So I roughly have the idea of the working environment of WD.

This is not my first exposure to the working environment. I've worked in a few government organizations before on a temporary basis but this is my first exposure to the working environment in a private sector as a professional (working at McD as a crew does not count here). All I can say that the differences of private and government sector is vast. When I worked with the government, the peoples and even the officers has a lot of time to chit chatting with each other. Not in WD. The engineers come at 8am, turn on their computer to do their report, go to lunch at 12pm (sometimes later), get back to their working desk at 2pm (sometimes earlier), continue with their report and finally go back at 5.20pm (usually later). this life cycle continues for every day. They are so dedicated towards their work that they hardly talk to each other. And if they talk, it is usually academic. No time for chit chatting. Yes, it is good for the organization but it is lifeless! Sorry to say that. I'm not sure if this is the culture of WD or the nature of the job itself but that is my observation in a week. However, there are a few good things about WD. They have a more lenient dressing code as compared to the government. You can wear smart casual for work. That includes jeans. Secondly, the working hour is flexible. You can come between 8-9. For instance, if you come at 8, you can go back at 5.20. If you come later than 8, you have to make up that time. So that's it.

P/s: I really need to polish my english. English is the first language in WD and it is fair to say that I'm not a really good english speaker. Or even writer as you can see here. :)